Eighty-two-year-old transgender faith activist Barbara Satin spoke at Common Ground United Methodist Community in Cambridge on Sunday, Jan. 30.
Satin is the first transgender person to serve on the President’s Advisory Council on Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships. She was named to the post by then President Obama last May and is in the midst of a one-year term in the position. Satin also serves as the assistant faith work director for the National LGBTQ Task Force.
She is a member of the Living Table United Church of Christ.
Satin, who was born biologically male but identifies as female, told the audience about her life’s journey as a trans person and gave some insight into the work she does as an activist.
Satin’s activism focuses on issues of faith and aging for the transgender community. She says aging brings with it unique problems for trans people and cited the examples of people who present outwardly as men having to deal with ovarian cancer or people who present as women dealing with prostate cancer. Satin said the issues are complicated by older trans people, who have often faced criminalization and discrimination, which can make them reluctant to seek services when they need them.
“Old LGBT people have been through hell in many cases in their lives,” Satin said. “Their primary care physician is the emergency room.”
Satin was born in 1934, and she said she began to understand she was different as early as 5 or 6 years old, noticing her preference for traditionally feminine things even though she was living as a male at the time.
“I realized that I had something going on,” Satin said. “I had no words for it. The only word we had for it was transvestite.” (That word, transvestite, which in definition refers only to the act of cross-dressing, is now considered derogatory to the trans community.)
The faith piece of Satin’s activism is driven by her own experience growing up as a devout Catholic with feelings she knew were not accepted by the church establishment of the time and which continue to be controversial among faith communities today. During her grade school years, Satin felt drawn to ministry, and she went to a minor seminary, which was a usual first step to a career in ministry at the time.
After she missed a pass during a basketball game at minor seminary because she was admiring the dress a girl in the stands was wearing, Satin realized she couldn’t continue on the path to ministry.
Satin said she felt as if she were cursed by God.
Of her story, Satin said it was not particularly remarkable for a trans person of her age, and it would serve as a “good model” for those present to understand what it means to be transgender.
“Basically what I did, which is what a lot of trans people of my age did, we just tucked it inside and tried to hide who we are from the world,” Satin said.
She added that this was common, and that many trans people her age would try to hide who they were by pursuing hyper-masculine or hyper-feminine work to overcompensate; joining the military was common for trans women living as men.
“In a time of national emergency, I could probably raise up a brigade of transgender Marines,” Satin said.
She spent time in the Air Force herself and eventually married and had three children. While living an outwardly traditional family life for the time, Satin began to develop her female identity on computer bulletin board systems, a precursor to the World Wide Web, which were often used to by those living or wishing to live alternative lifestyles, like trans people.
Satin never revealed her secret to anyone until after her retirement. At one point Satin was even asked to run for mayor of St. Paul, but she declined to do so because of the worry that someone would find out. She finally told one of her sons when he remarked that something seemed to be bothering her.
To Satin’s surprise, her son told her he and his brother and sister had figured out Satin’s secret on their own, and they had been waiting for her to tell them. Satin’s son suggested she see a therapist. She did, and Satin said the therapist asked her a question that changed her life.
“She said, ‘You’ve lived your whole life thinking that God has cursed you,’” Satin said. “‘Did you ever think that maybe this is how God made you? … Did you ever think of living your life as a blessing instead of a curse?’”
After revealing to her family that she was transgender, Satin left her marriage (though she did not get divorced) to live as a woman and understand her new identity. She did this for around eight years, and she left the Catholic Church during this time, figuring there was no room for her within it. She did not want to leave her faith behind, but she also did not want to go “denomination shopping.” She tried to maintain a private spirituality, but she found that it didn’t work for her.
Eventually Satin found Spirit of the Lakes, part of the United Church of Christ, which was the first LGBTQ church to join a mainstream denomination. (The Living Table, which is the church Satin now worships with, is an “offspring” of Spirit of the Lakes, according to its website.)
Once she found a community that was accepting of her lifestyle, Satin began her work as an activist. Unlike many trans people, it is not her goal to “pass” as someone who was born female; instead, Satin wants to be seen as a trans person to advocate on behalf of the community.
For more information on Barbara Satin and the National LGBTQ Task Force, visit thetaskforce.org/staff-bio-barbara-satin. For more information on the Living Table United Church of Christ, visit livingtable.org.